Friday, January 2, 2009

Glorious Rebellion.

I love fresh starts!  It's 2009... isn't that exciting?!  This year seems so different than any other year... so unorganized and messy.  But SO beautiful!  Mixing two lives and squishing them into one home takes some serious organization skills...among other things.  But it is so wonderful and so incredible!  I love it.
My husband of exactly 48 glorious days and I moved in to our new apartment right after the honeymoon.  Life has been busy and crazy and seemingly non-stop.  It has been wonderful.  Life is shifting a bit, it seems.  I used to be so organized and so on top of things.  I always started the new year with a brand new journal and on the first I'd write down all my resolutions and hopes and dreams for the year.  I'd spend the last couple days of the year cleaning out the old and getting ready for the new.  This year?  Well, I haven't written in my 2008 journal in about a month and I haven't even shopped for a new one.
Normally this would bother me, but I'm not bothered one bit.  Yes, I do plan on going and getting that journal and taking the time to write down all my hopes and dreams and all that good stuff.  But I've spent this year doing something beautiful... instead of just writing it down I've shared all my hopes and dreams.  The precious man I get to call my own has sat down with me.  We've spilled it all - the good, the bad and the ugly: what we didn't like about last year, what we hope for this year, what we want to change and what we hope will always be the same.
I love this new, wonderful life.  The way God does things - it's so perfect.  Our lives have merged together and there are lots of little bumps in the road - but they're exciting.  I get to share forever with this gift.  I love that God isn't this stuffy, stuck up guy looking down and shaming me for my lack of organization.  Instead, he's allowing me the freedom to grow - in love, in life, in beauty.
Sure, I hope to get things organized and (I won't lie) I can't wait for the day when there's a place for everything and everything is in its place - that will be great.  I can't wait until I have things scheduled and written out and organized and in place.  But right now, I'm growing in the beauty of this mess.  It's a glorious rebellion.
Thank God for helping me to stand against the norm.  I have an incredible savior.